High school and Higher school

This is yet another continuation of the maybe brief-ish account of my life and the role my disability plays in it. Praise the Lord!

My fight with my disability sort of  pinnacled in high school. I was extremely blessed to go to an awesome school, with a teacher who knew the Lord. I realized it could have been so much worse.

I desperately wanted two things, i wanted to be normal and i really wanted a girlfriend. I felt extremely different and so i became shy, and i'm not at all shy. I felt so different, i couldn't see the similarities between my peers and me. In a way I experienced the rejecting chant of my elementary days, day after day in high school. So getting a girlfriend was as realistic as an ant being crowned king of a small country. I'm sure my peers didn't think anything close to what i imagined they did, but that didn't matter at the time. My value was based on a broken perspective of myself, unable to imagine how i might be equal to others.

My faith says, God looks at the heart, and He can actually do that because He is God. He predetermined my entire existence and choose me for Himself before the Earth even existed. My lifetime's sins were paid for by the blood of Christ, the deity through whom all things are held together. The One who's unashamed of me, so much so that he calls me his brother! To top it off, after this short life is over, we get eternal perfection, unfathomable and awesome!

I had entered this lifelong war of perspectives with the finesse of a startled elephant, unfortunately. I did, however, grasp the bigger picture!

The hope of a christian is immense and all we need to do is believe it more than the sad alternative. God, the compassionate, gave us the Holy Spirit to testify to the truth, giving it absolute credibility. Walking in the belief of this, we can deal with any imaginable situation with dignity.

I feel like I've taken only the first step in my faith compared to where i need to go, but i have one very patient God and an invincible hope backing me.

Praise the Lord!


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